Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
