4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
