I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
