I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
