I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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