she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
