We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
