someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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