Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
