I don't think brook has ever known best
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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