All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
