i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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