Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
