absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
