i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
