I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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