my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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