I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I love you.
Bad choice
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