are you still at the devil's house?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
