Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize