Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
