'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
