no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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