My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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