lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dicks are not precious.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
