Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
