sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
