I'm going to jail i love you
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
