friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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