WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
