She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
