I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize