just tell him i said nine months
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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