ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
