I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Be still, my beating vagina.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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