that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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