I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
