I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
