Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
