haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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