I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
