Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
