I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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