I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
