Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
