Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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