do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
