Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
