he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
