Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
