Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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