dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
