I accidentally burped into my bong.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
