This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
