yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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